I can't eat enough!

I went to an "all-you-can-eat" Chinese buffet yesterday. The whole thing cost only 4 bucks so I won't complain about the poor quality of the food. As I was sitting there eating my meager portion two enormous fat people came in and heaped huge piles of food onto each of their plates. After they consumed enough to feed the Seventh Fleet they went back for seconds - then thirds! I struggled to have a second tiny plate but I couldn't finish it. I'm thinking to myself, "those people are getting a great deal. They couldn't eat at home for that price. I am the one getting ripped off!" But I began to remember that this is America! The Land of Plenty! Obesity is rampant here. I am the one who is being left out! Even with my extra 10 pounds I am only 185lbs. Each of these folks must have been in the 400lb range. Someday I'm going to fast for two days, smoke a joint then go into that place and eat EVERYTHING! I will be there from opening to close.