Stem cells are people too?

There have been a few times in history in which we have elected an idiot into the White House. For example, Warren G. Harding was a pretty dim bulb. But no one compares in idiocy to George W. Bush. He opposes stem cell research on "moral" issues yet send out soldiers off to a foreign land to kill without hesitation to fight an unnecessary war. Ted Bundy killed about 200 women. Jeffrey Dahmer only killed about 20 people. Bush has killed hundreds of thousands in war alone. His opposition to stem cell research will undoubtedly result in the death of millions. Bush has earned eternity in hell.

Grand Theft Auto has a HIDDEN SEX SCENE!

The most violent and dangerous video game to ever hit the market is now being owtlawed by many major retail outlets because it has a hidden sex scene! Grand Theft Auto does not hide the fact that it glorifies car theft and murder but heaven forbid there should be a sexual reference in there! This reminds me of the time I was 12 years old and my mother called the movie theater to find out why "Dirty Harry" had an R rating. She was told it's because of the violence. My mom said, "just violence? Oh, OK". That was OK for us to see! But my folks nearly freaked out when a couple of nude women appeared on the screen! In todays world violence is encouraged whereas sex and pleasure are discouraged. One President is impeached for having sex while another President is glorified for causing war. I hope we see the day when that turns around. I would like to have parents calling the cinema and allowing their kids to see the film if it's "just sex"!

Bush tells truth about socks

Washington (AP) - President George W. Bush who is notorious for being a compulsive liar actually told the truth at a press conference this afternoon. Near the end of the press conference Bush was asked by CNN Correspondent Dick Long what color socks he was wearing. Bush replied that he was wearing blue socks. Knowing that Bush always lied, Long insisted that Bush prove his statement. Bush lifted his pant leg and revealed, to the amazement of the media, that he was indeed sporting blue socks! Even Bush himself was surprised and he said, "well, I'll be damned!"

Later in the afternoon Bush changed into green socks but still insisted they were blue.

Long reportedly lost a $100 bet with an unnamed Fox News correspondent.

This was the first time since 1972 that Bush has actually told the truth. The 1972 incident involved an accident between Bush and an elderly woman pedestrian whereas Bush was high on cocaine and took responsibility for the crime. However, a Houston area lawyer managed to get Bush to recant his confession and his father managed to get the case and all reference to it dismissed. The elderly woman died later that day ay a nearby hospital. "She would have died someday anyway" , Bush reportedly quipped.

When told about her sons truthful statement, former First Lady Barbara Bush just beamed with pride.

“I knew he would be honest someday”, she said. “When George was a little boy he chopped down a cherry tree in our back yard. I asked him if he chopped it down and he replied, ‘no mother, I did not chop down the cherry tree. But if I did do it then it was for the good and benefit of the American people’. After that I baked him a pie”.

His father George Bush, Sr. Was equally impressed. “Barbara and I raised him to be truthful and honest”, Bush lied.

The Politics of Hair

It's mostly about the hair! We all know that the majority of American men 40 and over are showing signs of baldness. However, Since the days of John F. Kennedy, one of the main deciding factors of who becomes President lies in the amount of hair a candidate possesses. As history shows, Kennedy won the election against his lesser-coiffed opponent Richard Nixon. Lyndon Johnson was balding but he was following the lead of his predecessor JFK. Richard Nixon had a "widows peak" but he always ran against bald or balding opponents thus insuring his chances of victory. Gerald Ford was a bald President but he was appointed, not elected. Then he lost the election to the fully-maned peanut farmer Jimmy Carter. Carter lost the election to the thick, slick-haired Ronald Reagan. George Bush the First, albeit slightly balding, was a bit of an anomaly as he ran against the golden-haired Mike Dukakis. Dukakis lost the election not because of his hair but because he was too short and there are too many syllables in his name (every President since Johnson has been over six foot and has a one or two syllable name). Bill Clinton obviously had the full tresses of a President. George Bush the Second also has all his hair thus ensuring his victory despite being a total idiot and war mongering piece of shit. John Kerry may have had TOO MUCH hair. A haircut may have improved his chances of victory. Is it simply coincidence that every President in the last 40 years has his hair, been tall and has easy-to-remember names or has the mentality of America simply declined so much that we no longer look for issues and qualifications than we do for appearance?

The wonderful HIPAA laws!

If you're in the hospital and dying you better not expect anyone to come visit you! It seems our privacy is very important to the government. Thanks to the fairly new HIPAA (HEALTH INSURANCE PORTABILITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY ACT) laws we can expect so much privacy that hospitals can no longer even tell your friends and loved ones if you are in there without your consent or a court order. The only people they can tell are government officials! So if you are dying you can expect a call from the IRS but not your best friend. This means that if you are in an accident and breathing your last no one except government bill collectors and other people you hate will be able to see you. My dad has been in a nursing home for the past 2 years. Every so often he must go to the hospital for some procedure or another. The nurses have no problem asking me if I will consent to a life-saving procedure but they have to be screamed at to reveal his diagnosis! One time I insisted on knowing his medical condition and the nurse very abruptly replied, "I'm sorry sir, the HIPAA laws forbid revealing a patients medical condition over the phone". At the time I was living in Boston, nearly 2,000 miles from where my dad was in Florida and he has Alzheimers and is unable to give his consent. I screamed, "Fuck the HIPAA laws! Tell me my fathers fucking prognosis!!!" OK, I didn't say Fuck, I said "damn" but Fuck would have been a better word. The people at the nursing home won't even reveal his medical condition to me because of the sacred HIPAA laws. I can see myself intubated someday wondering why no one has come to see me then I'll remember HIPAA. Now we can have so much privacy we can all die alone! Isn't that swell?

Let's hear it for Government Bureaurcracy!!!

Let's not forget how important Bureaurcracy is to this country! Bureaurcracy gives jobs to those who would not be intelligent enough to get one otherwise! If it were not for Bureaurcracy we would have millions more homeless! Next time you talk to an idiot government official after being kept on hold for endless hours and he transfers you to another government department who also leaves you on hold for endless hours then to be transfered to another government official who says "please hold" then transfers you back to the original number you called in on and they put you on hold you must very compassionately say to yourself, "because I am left on hold these people have jobs and are able to contribute to society and buy things at Walmart. They are NOT homeless!" When you trealize the good you are doing maybe a tear will come to your eye and your heart will be full of goodwill toward men. Or you'll just want to rip their fucking heads off.