More About Nursery Rhymes

I had previously posted about the horrors of childrens nursery rhymes but further inspection reveals the problem to be much worse than I feared. I recall the "Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe". It goes as follow:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread,
Then whipped them all soundly
And put them to bed.

Here's a lady living in the most horrible abject poverty, starving and whipping her children. We read this stuff to kids?

How about the famous "Ring Around the Rosey"? Here's the facts on that one:

The words to the Ring around the rosy children's ring game have their origin in English history . The historical period dates back to the Great Plague of London in 1665 (bubonic plague) or even before when the first outbreak of the Plague hit England in the 1300's. The symptoms of the plague included a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring on the skin (Ring around the rosy). Pockets and pouches were filled with sweet smelling herbs ( or posies) which were carried due to the belief that the disease was transmitted by bad smells. The term "Ashes Ashes" refers to the cremation of the dead bodies! The death rate was over 60% and the plague was only halted by the Great Fire of London in 1666 which killed the rats which carried the disease which was transmitting via water sources.

Damn! 3-year-old are into this stuff! How about Red Riding Hood where the grandmother gets eaten. Or Snow White where the hottest babe in the land is living with seven horny dwarves?

It never ends!

Everyone Should Start Smoking.

Over the past 20 years obesity has become epidemic in this country. There was once a time when very few Americans were obese. Why? Because eveyone smoked! When people quit smoking they gained weight. Now people don't smoke and they are fat. The solution to the obesity problem is quite simple. Everyone start smoking! We would see fewer deaths from obesity related illnesses and diabetes would no longer be such a health threat! Why can comedians figure this out and doctors can't?

MURDER VS WAR - WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

I am certainly not the first person to ever think of this. When a person kills another person in this country he is called a murderer. That person is either put in jail for life or executed. However, when a person kills another person in a war he is a HERO! And the more people he kills more of a hero he is. Lemme think. If I can kill a thousand strangers in a war then I get to meet the President, get medals and go down in history as a great war hero. However, if I kill one person not in a war then I am branded as the most horrible person to walk the face of the Earth. So, when your government tells you to kill then killing is a good thing but don't do it unless they TELL you to!

REAL Source of Global Warming Found!!!

The ture source of global warming has been founbd and it has NOTHING to do with us! It seems PLANTS have been causing the trouble! Check out http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060111/sc_nm/environment_methane_dc
The must be a special variety of "farting plant" because they produce methane and contribute to 30% of global warming! This should be the news of the century! The obvious solution is to KILL THE PLANTS!!! If we kill the plants then we can produce all the pollution we want guilt-free!

Would THIS Put You To Sleep???

I was at a friends house the other night as she was singin her baby off to sleep with a children's Lullaby. The song goes as such:

Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

The beginning of this ballad is indeed relaxing. The kid is rocking gently with the wind and it's very peaceful. But it takes on a whole new significance toward the end of the song when the branch breaks and the baby comes crashing to the ground! I can only envision the remains of the baby lying there in a pool of blood with a tree branch sticking through the cradle! This is one of the most gruesome things that can happen to either a baby or a parent! And we expect this disturbing nightmare to put kids to SLEEP???!!! This song must have been written by either a child abuser or a sociopath!

Of course, even bedtime stroies such as "Hansel & Gretel" are supposed to lull children off to slumber. Here is the story of two children who rob the lady, eat her house then throw her into an oven and watch her cook to death!

Is it any wonder kids are messed up?