Is Porn Really So Bad?

I have heard that porn is considered "degrading" and "offensive" to women. However, most porn also involves guys! Are the guys not offended and degraded? We must ask ourselves "what is porn?" Porn is someone reading erotic stories or looking at pictures of nude women or men for the purpose of sexual gratification. It is an alternative or a precursor to "real sex". However, isn't every one of us the result of some horny guy getting aroused over a nude and (hopefully) horny woman? Thanks to porn even ugly people can get laid! Without naked women, erect penises and moist vaginas babies would not be born, productivity would decline, buisnessess would fail and within a hundred years the entire human race would cease to exist! Let's support Playboy and Penthouse and Hustler as they are paving the way for the future of the world! If porn is outlawed then only outlaws will have porn! As our civilization declines for a lack of porn I, for one, refuse to be the cause of the problem! Let's take off our clothes and run naked into the streets, take pictures of each other and celebrate horniness and procreation! Who's with me?

Mars Probes Vanish!

Being somewhat of a science buff I find it interesting to follow the news of all the various probes and satellites we have circling the Red Planet. However, it strikes me as odd that various "unexplained" things have been happening. A Martian probe had discovered the supposed crash site oof another martian probe but when the probe went to look a second time the supposed crash site had vanished! Another Mars probe was looking into the possibility of life on Mars by detecting methane in the atmosphere combined with water. As the probe went to examine this intriguing area where an abundance of methane was detected that probe too vanished! Of course, we all know methane is created by farting. It is a highly unstable gas that won't exist on its own for more than a couple hundred years. I suspect there are intelligent life forms on Mars trying to deter us from discovering their identity and they are causing our probes to crash! On the plus side, one of the Martian rovers was so covered in dust that it was nearly non-functional. Then, one night, all the solar panels were mysteriously swept clean! Scientists have no explanation. Could there be intelligent creatures on Mars? Or is it more likeley that out space program is inept? Or a combination of all three?

Stained Dress vs Slaughter of a Nation

I'm sure we all clearly recall the Clinton "sex scandal" where Clinton and Monica did some silly things with cigars. Why has that receieved more attention than the ruthless, illegal and unnecessary slaughter and brutal maimining of hundreds of thousands of Iraqi citizens and thousands of our soldiers? Why has Bush's ineptitude toward hurricane Katrina been swept under the rug? Why aren't we reading more about the dismal state of our economy? But, more importantly, why does ANYONE still support Bush and his band of imbeciles?

Christmas is Coming - Fuck Rudolph.

As the Christmas season draws near in this time of "political correctness" I suggest we drop the sappy Christmas story of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Though most childrens stories are politically incorrect, few stories in history have been as politically incorrect as this one.

We will note that Rudolph was born with a disability and the other reindeer children constantly taunted him, called him names and probably beat the shit out of him. His red nose was most likely either a genetic mutation or the result of alcoholic parents. This teaches children that "it's not ok to be different". Where was Santa while Rudolph was being so mercilessly harrassed by these youthful miscreants? Why were no measures taken to control the schoolyard bullying? Where were Rudolph's parents?

Later in the story Santa asks Rudolph to guide his sleigh because his nose was a fucking beacon. Rudolph could have taken offense at this point and told Santa to go fuck himself. Instead he plays the hero and accepts Santa's offer to guide the sleigh. THEN all the reindeer loved him! They couldn't just accept him as he was but he had to prove that his mutation had some sort of merit before he would be accepted among his peers.

In todays society such abuse would not be tolerated. Rudolph could have grown into a serial-killing reindeer or engaged in a Colombine-style mass murder. Do we really want our children to be exposed to such things?

Bush appoints gal pal to cushy lifetime post!

Harriet Miers, who has never been anything but a sleazy lawyer, is Bush's newest appointment to the Supreme Court. Isn't that great news! For the next 20-30 years the court is going to be filled with Bush's Teach-Intelligent-Design-In-Schools idiot friends! There was once a time in which Supreme Court nominees served as a judge SOMEWHERE before they were appointed. If my life or liberty was on the line the last person I would want hearing my case is someone Bush appointed. I would be guaranteed injustice!