The Politics of Hair

It's mostly about the hair! We all know that the majority of American men 40 and over are showing signs of baldness. However, Since the days of John F. Kennedy, one of the main deciding factors of who becomes President lies in the amount of hair a candidate possesses. As history shows, Kennedy won the election against his lesser-coiffed opponent Richard Nixon. Lyndon Johnson was balding but he was following the lead of his predecessor JFK. Richard Nixon had a "widows peak" but he always ran against bald or balding opponents thus insuring his chances of victory. Gerald Ford was a bald President but he was appointed, not elected. Then he lost the election to the fully-maned peanut farmer Jimmy Carter. Carter lost the election to the thick, slick-haired Ronald Reagan. George Bush the First, albeit slightly balding, was a bit of an anomaly as he ran against the golden-haired Mike Dukakis. Dukakis lost the election not because of his hair but because he was too short and there are too many syllables in his name (every President since Johnson has been over six foot and has a one or two syllable name). Bill Clinton obviously had the full tresses of a President. George Bush the Second also has all his hair thus ensuring his victory despite being a total idiot and war mongering piece of shit. John Kerry may have had TOO MUCH hair. A haircut may have improved his chances of victory. Is it simply coincidence that every President in the last 40 years has his hair, been tall and has easy-to-remember names or has the mentality of America simply declined so much that we no longer look for issues and qualifications than we do for appearance?