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President Bush held a press conference this afternoon to tell the American people that there are no problems and everything is just fine despite assertions in the media to the contrary.
“I stand here before the American people to tell you there is nothing wrong. Everything is great. There are no problems”, Bush stated at the start of the press conference.
John Stafford of the Miami Post asked the President about the Iraq war. Bush replied, “that’s the best war we’ve ever had. Everything is going so well I wouldn’t even call it a war. Everyone loves us over there. Ask Tony Blair. He’ll tell ya the same thing”.
When questioned after the interview Blair responded, “ah yes. Pip pip. Everything is fine. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m late for a meeting with the British Tea Council. Dear, do we have any more Earl Gray?”
Science writer Paul Flemming quizzed the President on Global Warming. Bush replied, “Do you think global warming is a problem? We’ve had one of the nicest winters in history and you people are complaining? I can come and go from the White House without a jacket in the middle of January and no one has to shovel my limo out. Global warming is the best thing that ever happened to this country”.
One reporter asked Bush about the escalating crisis in Afghanistan. Bush dismissed the question by stating, “c’mon. Ask me something important”.
Bush further elaborated that the economy could not be better and everyone is making lots of money. “As far as I can see everyone in the country is happy”, Bush said among peals of laughter from the news media. “You see? These people are laughing”.
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12 comments:
For less than this, Pollyana was eventually strangled. Not in the book or movie, sure. But . . .
...and he isn't even the Republican with Alzheimers....
maybe just a little Schizophrenia.
Hi Jeff! Just stoppin' by to say hello.
I did not have leak with that woman.
too too funny, i certainly hope those quotes from bush were just a joke, otherwise I think even less of him...
great site, keep it up.
Nubbit.com
Hi Jeff glad yer back...where'd ya go??
I've been doing some traveling and staying busy Hammy. I was in Los Angeles for a few days then to Mexico for a couple days now I'm home.
Did you hang around in the park and argue politics in LA?
Jeff...where ya be???
As a matter of fact, I am outraged. When are you gonna update for us, dude? Me and the rest of the readers are baning our spoons on the table, shouting, "We want Jeff to give us some new material, please and thank you very much. We want Jeff to give us some new material, please and thank you very much. We want Jeff to give us some new material, please and thank you very much."
I ran into a harried man yesterday. He said, "Take my president- -please."
The president said, "Are your children is learning?"
The children answered, "We certainly is. Yesterday, we could not even spell scholar. Today we has a diploma."
I'm back Edgar! Got sidetracked with life for a while. I'll be back with more posts in the next day or two.
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